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In a sea of emotions, you begin to think of normal everyday things in ways that most people don't think about them. A bath that would normally be relaxing becomes an object of drowning and you can't go near it. Air that would normally calm becomes suffocating. A teddy bear and a Linus blanket lying on the floor become a welcomed rescue. After suffering major post-partum depression after my second son, panic attacks and depression creep in at the most unwelcomed times, even now 22 years later. We think we have a grip on the situation and yet the signs are all there. The heart palpitations, the body aches and pains, the mounting stress and yet you somehow ignore each sign. Then one day something triggers it. Today was one of those days. Pulling my hair back or up as I have lately has caused my scalp to be tender. This is always how my head gets when doing this. But today, I tried to pull my [...]

When you are in the heat of the moment, the flames are licking upward and all you think about is the next step forward to avoid the fire. As you go through a crisis, it is a well known fact that your adrenaline rushes and you move even when your body doesn't realize you need to rest. I think at this point the numbness has worn off and the beginning stages of exhaustion are setting in. David is healing very slowly but his patience and the ICU psychosis is getting the better part of him at times. He has discovered how to call me from his bedside and uses his iPad to send me text messages as well. I won't take him his phone because one can only imagine the trouble he might get into at this point. So many know his number and still others have no clue what has happened. He uses these means of communication frequently and freely, at all hours of the day [...]

"For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and My soul knows it very well." Psalms 139:13-14 NASB Each of us has been "wired" a specific way and according to God's word, our days have been set out before we were even substance. How intricately the body is made, each organ, each vein and vessel made to support our frame, our lifestyles and our heritage. Each of us are different in so many unique ways. When even one of the inner wirings of our body has been altered, it affects so many others. As I watch my husband's system recover from several of those wirings becoming backed up and stopping the flow of vital blood to the other organs, I see the intricacy first hand and look to God in amazement. How quickly an interruption of our inner wiring can cause such changes in our world. [...]

Life, it is a waltz of sorts. Steps of a waltz are in sequences of threes and in a box. Some days we take two steps forward, one backward and end up in the same box we started out in. A beautiful dance, beautiful costumes and beautiful people make it no more or less difficult. Anyone can waltz and most often we do it daily without realizing it. When a we are stuck in a box, we get claustrophobic, we search for breath, and we begin to get that "caged in" feeling. Two weeks ago this morning our lives were placed in that box and the steps of the Waltz began. We went forward, right, back and left and we are right back in the same box. The scenery changes as we move swiftly about the room in our box, but we are still left to dance in our own box. This journey has been a dance for us. We heard the music start, the partners were [...]